Years ago, when I was in a most tumultuous and unhealthy relationship, I was emotionally shaky and cried a lot.  I discovered that it was, to a high degree, painful to remove myself from a painful situation.

To forsake the pain by removal, I adhered to the pain by remaining.  Both were equally painful, but to tear apart from was mortifying.  It is equal to two items glued together.   They are no longer two separate items, but one item altogether.  When you finally separate the items, there will be inevitable damage – not to the glue, but to the items.

Damaged.  That was I when I come wholly unloose.  Damaged.

During the years in this singed relationship, it got to a point where I was forbidden to cry.  Tears would begin to well up, and he would put his finger over my lips (not my eyes) and say, “You are not doing that!”  Immediately, I felt like a child whose parent would curse them with evil words that pierced the heart, or spank them with a rod and then tell the child, knowing that it hurts, “You betta not cry!”

Equally, I and child were told not to cry – not to show the proper response to the inflicted pain.  Later on, I understood that it wasn’t about the tears.  They didn’t want to hear the sound (cry) of their low-spirit emanating through us.  This is why he put his finger over my lips and not my eyes.  Selah!

Through many years of recovery, I noticed that I (in a lot of situations) would withhold my tears.  Ultimately, forbidding them to flow had produced warlike anger.  Many nights I would lay down with anger, and wake up with angrier.  Hiding from my tears, not wanting to see myself when I was hurting, some days, I would go to the restroom and keep the lights off while I cry.  I was a crestfallen Angela.

Today, I was on a prayer call with Kimberly Ray-Gavin, and a young man started praying for millennials.  He was praying concerning the spirit of rebellion, disobedience, lack of wisdom, etc. that is riding the backs of millennials.   For weeks, now, I’d been praying on the same topics.  Praying that my household comes together, stay together, and forsake division.

As he prayed, that old spirit that had forbidden me to cry swept over me.  I was the only one in the living area, and I self-consciously held my head down, hid my face because I was in pain, and wept.  I didn’t want anyone to walk in the area and possibly see me crying.

As I wept, the inner part of my right eyelid began to burn.  

I do not readily recall scratching the inner part of my eye, but I’d wipe my tears and cry some more.  Each time, I’d let my tears rest there a while and let the sting embrace them.  I’d let them to do what they are purposed to do – detoxify and heal.

With this, I understand that tears are a powerful antidote of emotional pain.  Not only did it physically cleanse the cut on my inner eyelid, but it was a good ole’ fashioned purging to the soul.  My tears keep my mind unlocked to give and receive Pure Divine Love.  They assassinate anger and rehabilitates the principle of life.

#iChoose to keep on crying.  #iChoose to not hide from my lamenting.  Forbidden Tears are Flowing Again.

© 2020 Angela M. Smith

This morning, I came across a photo that talked about having a wife who covers a husband with prayer.  Immediately, I thought about how my sons have taken liberty to call me and simply say, “Mom, I NEED you to pray for me!” And I do that.

My younger sons would show up at my job, spontaneously, in need and I’d do “Pop-up Prayer” in the private library, or I’d give them the advice for which they sought.

Sometimes it’s because a friend has tragically passed or they are angry and need prayer to calm them down lest they sin; or they are anxious and know when they are anxious they make bad choices, and they don’t want to make those illogical choices. Or even regarding their education, employment, relationships or business ventures. They know that when they need me (to pray for them) they have my ear, heart, and wisdom of the Holy Ghost.

One time my Jordan was in a conversation with some highly respectable men and husbands, and other youth about the gang activity, shootings, and killings of the youth in the city.  He told them, paraphrasing, “I don’t be scared because my momma prays prayers that cover me for a 70-mile radius.” One youth asked him what that meant, and Jordan says, “No matter WHERE I am, the LORD is protecting me.”

There are so many instances I could mention, for example when my Gerald was in a tumultuous decision-making position and I randomly -not randomly- called him and said, paraphrasing, “DON’T DO IT!  Don’t fall back into that situation because you are desperate!”  The HOLY GHOST sent me to my FIRST FRUIT (GLORAY)… and he lives today, mistakes and all.

Or when my Josue’ was being bullied by his supervisor and he wept because he felt anger about to explode on her.  I was late for work that day, but work was not a priority for me at that moment… my son’s life was.  For sure, had anger won he’d be in jail right now.  But the Holy Ghost gave me wisdom; he obeyed and handled it like the Spirit of the LORD instructed him to.  She is no longer his supervisor because he is now her equal and they are good friends.

My sons believes in the prayers of their mother whom the Holy Ghost abides in…  

All that to say, to my sons – male friends who are husbands and are not married yet (Selah), virtuous men of integrity (GLORAY), nephews and brothers, friends who are married and she’s not praying effectual fervent prayers let her know you need her to cover you too – please join yourself to a praying wife.

I (your mom, your auntie, your friend) love you’ll and I am interceding on your behalf today.  I pray that your faith is enlarge, and your trust is secured in the LORD; that you inhale unspeakable grace and fresh mercies, that worry does not know your name; Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth (3 John 2); that EVERYTHING good that you desire knocks on your door and you deny hesitation.

YOU asked and the LORD delivered. Selah!  

I pray for your children as if they are my own; that even though they walk through the shadow of death, they will not fear evil; that they know the LORD our God is with them; I put in the atmosphere that they will turn from the spirit of ignorance, from the path of death; they will quash foul language, disobedience, lying, manipulation, stealing, hoarding, boasting, and the likes, which delays the hope of their soul. I pray that they will wake up and live a life full of humility and honor, and not be ashamed to say I’ve been changed.

In the name of the LORD Jesus our Savior and Redeemer… 

our Keeper and the Hill of our Help. 

Alleluia and Amen.

© 2020

Today, I read a Facebook post by Leonard Walker, and he was talking about rejection.  Immediately, this read took me to a specific time in November 2004.  I was 37-years-old and was attempting to rise above the results of a now 2-year-old divorce.

Vividly, I recall the day: my son, Jordan, had just turned five in October 2004.  His birthday was past the cut-off date for entering kindergarten, so he was still in daycare.  One day, he got into a fight and was suspended.  Yep!  SUSPENDED from daycare!  Unfortunately, due to the nature of my job, I couldn’t take him to work with me.  Thus, I had to spend my days with him on suspension.

One of those days, I was sitting downstairs on the floor in the living room and he was playing upstairs.  I was having a rough time reconciling my thoughts as I engaged in a conversation with a gent who was duly interested in establishing a relationship with me.  While I sat there, my Jordan ran down the stairs with emphatic excitement and exclaimed,

“MOM!  IF YOU HOLD ON TO THAT ANGER, ANGER IS GOING TO HOLD ON TO YOU!”

My soul snapped alive and I was INSTANTLY delivered from the root of rejection.  Out of the mouth of a babe – the prophet of my womb – my freedom came.  Thank You Jesus!  Immediately, my thoughts traveled to November 1984 – 20 years to the month – when I was seventeen and pregnant with my first-born, Gerald.  I had asked my dad if I could go to lunch with my best friend, who was also expecting a little one.

He said, “NO!  If you grown enough to get pregnant, you grown enough to get out my house!”  I felt that punch in my throat-gut.  I felt his pain and disappointment in his Angela who prayed for him as a child and he was healed.  That moment was the beginning of a 20-year cycle that lead me to live in fear of “asking” anyone for anything, i.e., help, gas in the car, food, directions, support, money, etc.

But, that day?! 

That day the prophet of my womb delivered Yah’s message to me, I recovered and have never been afraid to ask for anything! 

So, here recently, my Gerald text me because he had a need.  I told him that I’d look at my resources and get back with him once I got home.  After I told him that, I put it in the atmosphere, “LORD!  Help me.  You need to fix this!”  It was a legitimate plea because my son legitimately needed what he was asking for.  I wasn’t worried or concerned, I just got out of the car and stayed the course of my Wal-Mart $60.00 budget shopping for the day.

Now, before all of this, I had taken my Jordan to the YMCA.  As we were approaching the drop off area, he pats me on my driving thigh and confidently says, “Mom, you’re gonna be alright.”  We always pat each other’s thigh when we’re driving or riding; just something we do as a display of affection.  

Anyway, whilst in the store I received a phone call.  I couldn’t get to my phone quickly and when I did, I didn’t recognize the number and then couldn’t quite “swipe up or to the side” to even answer it.  So, I didn’t answer it.  Then, it rang again – same number.  The Holy Ghost said, “You need to ANSWER that!”  Glory to God!

I’d not heard from this lady in a very long time.  She asked me for my CashApp ($Nataph) and told me that she was sending me “X” amount of dollars.  The Holy Ghost sent my words to South Carolina, and my plea was INSTANTLY taken care of.  It didn’t take days, weeks, months.  The answer came QUICK!

I needed to ANSWER my ANSWER!  SELAH!

Later that evening, I called my son to tell him WHAT the LORD did and HOW the LORD did it.  He confessed, “Mom, I didn’t want to ask you for help.  I was like, LORD… I’m tired of asking my mom to help me.  But something told me to just ask.”  Here we see the fear of asking in operation again.  Fear of asking because somewhere in his life he’s been rejected.

Give rejection an injection of FAITH. 

ASK!  I compel you to BE the Matthew 7:7-8 (KJV)~Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

GIVE!  I compel you to keep giving!  BE Luke 6:38 (KJV)~Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom.  For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you AGAIN!

REJECTION NO REJECTION!

On the road again. It’s been a long time since I’d been on the road – traveling to sing. My brothers, Dennis and Henry, were my drivers on several occasions back in the day.

Today, Dennis was driving and Henry was in the front passenger seat. I was sitting behind the driver with a girl child, and another adult was sitting behind Henry. The highway was clear and free of obstacles; no constructions or barriers; alive and vibrant. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t know the assignment. I didn’t know what to expect when I got there.

Whilst it was day, suddenly it was night. We had reached our destination to discover eerie darkness. Not nighttime darkness, but soul darkness that had swept over the community. We were instructed to turn around and go back the same way we came. As we complied, our vision beheld everything that once was bright and alive was now dark and dead. Windows were busted out of buildings, people were hanging out of the windows of their candle lit homes; cars were abandoned; murmurs filled the air, and the streets were paved with muddy waters.

Someone told us that there was a man around the corner who could help us get back home. By this time, Henry was driving and I told Dennis to hand me my tennis shoes. I needed to change my shoes for the journey. We drove up to a building that mimicked a drive-thru restaurant. It was well lit on the inside. I’m talking about 40W LED bright light. ALL this darkness and this building was the only one with light.

Henry told us to stay in the car while he goes inside. The girl child climbed out of the window and into the drive-thru window. She’d played peek-a-boo twice and then I didn’t see her again.  Soon, Henry came out and got back in the driver’s seat and, suddenly, the girl child climbed back into the car window.  He started passing out $200 bills from the bulk of money that was given to him during his visit.

As we were driving off, Henry told us that we had to leave the car on the side of the road because the mission we were on could not be completed with a vehicle. Before we got out of the car, I asked the girl child where did she go. She showed me a cell phone with a black chip attached to it and she said it was the only way to track the other car. I didn’t even know we were trailing anyone.  Nonetheless, the chip was a non-rechargeable battery – meaning it was so powerful that it kept the phone charged at all times. It’s power never died.

We all got out of the car and started walking in the muddy water. Everyone went to the left and I could hear the water swooshing around.  There was a lot of slushy water to the left. So, I kept slowly and meticulously walking to the right. My brothers kept telling me to “follow them.” I said that I was coming, but I was trying to walk in the light that was present from the drive-thru.  I wanted to walk a trail where there was little to no muddy waters.  Selah!

With my $200 bill stashed in my bra, on the right side near my heart, I begin to drift; tip-toeing to the left. Then, there was a finger in the middle of my back. The pressure of it was gentle yet strong enough to push me. That finger was guiding me; pushing me straight ahead.  The pressure was so real that it woke me up. When I woke up, I could still feel the finger pressure in the middle of my back.

So, then, both of my brothers are deceased, and have been for a long time. I’m fully persuaded that had I followed them, I would have died in my sleep.

To my understanding the number 200, from a biblical perspective, means insufficiency.  This may, of the sorts, explained the insufficiency of oxygen while I slept.  This very thing, insufficiency of oxygen, lead to a debilitating migraine that left me moaning, groaning, and talking incoherently this morning.  However, the finger of the Holy Ghost pushed me to live.  Thus, I’m obligated to release this $200 bill – insufficiency in my life – and live because the LORD said live!  

10:18 a.m.: I was sitting here minding my business – paying a bill – and as soon as I clicked “submit” and received an email that read “confirmation of payment received,” my soul begin to flutter.

You know the phrase “I have butterflies?” Well, I had butterflies after the fact when normally you get them before something happens – while you’re contemplating a decision.  I was thinking, “what is this reaction (response) that my body is having?” My brain/nerves seemed to BE perplexed. I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. Each emotion was competing with one another; one trying to dominate the other. I just didn’t know what to do with such a conflict.

Quickly, I discovered that crying + laughing = praise!

I started to submit my praise of thanksgiving. I called on the warring angels to protect my sons. I begin to call forth MY healing. I saw the physician’s name scroll across my face and I praised God for him. I began to thank the LORD for scores of increase in every sector of life that concerns me. Ultimately, I praised myself right into another measure of faith; leaning not to my own understanding, but rather acknowledging the LORD to direct me (Psalm 3:5-6).

Then, I heard a man of God say – DANCE!

10:23 a.m.: Five minutes had elapsed from the time I pressed SUBMIT and received CONFIRMATION of payment received and I had been engulfing my home with praise. I was dancing in my seat and my feet, couldn’t keep still. My Josue’ calls and asks me to assist him with something. Hesitation knocked on the door of my heart and tried to intrude upon this new measure of faith. But the HOLY GHOST intervened and said, “You are not praising the LORD for nothing!” Thank You Jesus! I answered my Josue’ that I would consider the RESOURCES that the SOURCE has already provided. I gave him a YES and went right back to my praise!

Then, I heard a man of God say, “If you have a need, SEND JUDAH FIRST!”

Well, JUDAH was already permeating through-and-through. At that moment, I couldn’t even think of a need that I had where provisions were not already provided. To be honest, I didn’t even think of a desire or a want. I just continued to SEND JUDAH in my home; sent it out the door to capture the desires of my children’s heart; sent it to the GIVERS so that they will freely GIVE to us. SELAH!

Then, I heard a man of God say – OH THAT MEN WOULD PRAISE THE LORD (Psalm 107:8)!

ALLELUIA!

12:31 p.m.: Here it is, 2 hours and 8 minutes later, while praise was still sweeping over home, my Jordan calls me. He told me that he just made two trips to Tipton (he was at work), and on his way back he saw a car that he wanted. We’ve been working on this for a while – getting him a car. So, Angela was all the way seated and Nataph was all the way alive. This time, hesitation couldn’t even find the door to knock.  I told him we will go by the dealership, inquire, and test drive when he gets off work. There is this unwavering belief all over me that within the next eight days (the day of new beginnings) my son will have THIS desire of his heart. I ain’t praising the LORD for nothing! SELAH!

1:40 p.m.: Three hours and 22 minutes later, the Holy Ghost has encouraged me, again, – THE LORD PROVIDES! With that inflexible declaration, I started making plans to travel and see/meet people I haven’t seen/met, and to go places I want to go. I will bless people the Holy Ghost tells me to bless, and buy from people I want to buy from. I will call people the Holy Ghost tells me to call, and then I will call people whom I want to talk to. I praise the LORD now for the career advancement, for the business advancement, and for the vision coming alive. I praise the LORD now for His goodness and His wonderful works.

Glory to God!

SUBMIT YOUR PRAISE and receive CONFIRMATION of PRAISE RECEIVED!

On July 23, I’d had a migraine for 22 days, and that day it debilitated me – I couldn’t make it out of the house.

During my morning meditation, while waiting on my physician to call me back, I drifted into a vision. At this huge location were scores of doors and hallways filled with people, shopping and eating; sitting and sharing. My sister, Terrie, was looking for a girl child she had lost; so, I started going ’round in circles to help in the search. It was a strategic search in that one of us would eventually “catch” up with the child.

On each round, people begin to fill the center of the building. It was set up like an outdoor tent revival gathering. There was a band on the stage and a woman at the mic. As the music begin, Terrie says, “I found her!” And, simultaneously, as she made that announcement, I was on my last round of the search and the lady began to sing, “I am just one praise from my breakthrough…”  I stood at the back of the audience and started singing along with her. The audience turned and gazed at me. The instruments were loud, and I had no mic; how did they HEAR me? As the song continued, I continued to CALL FORTH MY RIGHT NOW PRAISE that dwells in me. The lady looked at me with disgust motioning me to stop because everyone’s attention was in my direction. Readily, I didn’t understand why she wanted me to shut up the praise from my soul.

So, I walked up to the singing lady and made an unashamed singing proclamation, “PRAISE! A RIGHT NOW PRAISE! I CALL FORTH!” The men on the instruments were silent. As I continued to lift my praise, every stringed instrument, guitar, lead, bass, and acoustic; every melody, harmony, chord change and progression; bells and horns; they were oozing out of me in liberty. SELAH!

This experience revealed to me that I don’t need a microphone to be heard; that in every aspect of my life, there will be people who are offended by my praise (way of life). Our lifestyle (praise) is our voice. I encourage you, my friends, to “LIFT (RAISE) UP YOUR PRAISE!” Lift it up with fire and freedom. Walk up to the face of the enemy and proclaim, “PRAISE! A RIGHT NOW PRAISE! I CALL FORTH!”

© 2019 Angela M. Smith

Geez!  All this driving around to find the right place to complete a simple task could have been sidestepped if I would have had concise information.

Finally arriving at what may be my destination, I still couldn’t tell if it was my destination.  The building looked like a house from the outside, but the inside looked like a duplex.  Upon entering, there were two red doors to the left.  When my friend, Sina, came out of the second red door I felt relieved knowing that I was, indeed, in the right place.  She greeted me by bidding me to hurry up so that I didn’t miss the gathering.  As I turned my head to respond to her, there she was – a chunky 5-month-old baby girl – sleeping on the sofa in her purple onesie.

Searching the room for other adults, I saw NONE!  As a child advocate, I sensed my purpose for being there beginning to swiftly shift.  There I was sitting and waiting; waiting and watching the sleeping baby; watching for someone to come and claim her.  All I was there for, as I knew, was to get my health benefits papers updated.  However, the ill-knowledgeable lady was taking way too long to write down 8 numbers!  In her incompetent and shambolic space, I kept my sharp vision on the chunky bundle of Joy.  I have always desired to have a daughter of my own, but my womb didn’t deliver her unto me.

Eventually, I was taken into another room around the corner and on one of my frequent peeks I noticed that the baby had awakened.  She wasn’t crying or moving about trying to get off the sofa.  She just laid there looking.  So, I go and behold this caramel Gift who stared at me without a sound.  Her soul was fearless as we held a relevant conversation with our eyes.  I just had to take care of her.

As I’m enjoying her presence, someone says to me, “Change her diaper!”  When I turned around, no one was there.  Peculiar, but not puzzling at all.  I picked her up and everything concerning her was soaked and wet.  MY reason for being there was now second nature to THE reason that I was there.  SELAH.  I told the lady, “Look, just insert my numbers on this form and I will change the baby’s diaper and find some clothes for her.”  The lady looked at me and said, “Well, you can just take her!  She doesn’t have any clothes!”

Her compassionless response made my blood boil!  Yet, as an advocate, I didn’t ask any questions and I didn’t hesitate to do what I do.  I searched the adjacent rooms and couldn’t find ANY clothes to fit her.  Consequently, I cleaned her up, wrapped her in a big shirt, gathered my paperwork, and we left.  Did I know where we were going?  Yes, I did – straight to Florida.  I didn’t even want to be near what I knew as “home.”  We had been talking about moving back home, to Florida, for years and this encounter encouraged me to make an expeditious exit.  I left EVERY unnecessary thing behind and hit the road.  SELAH!

After being on the road for a few moments, I received a call from Bud.  I hadn’t heard from him in five months.  My first thought was that this better be important and my second thought was fixed on why he would be calling me.  Well, Bud went on the explain that he was having a spiritual epiphany and the only person he knew who would understand him was me.  I listened, and we shared for, what seemed like, only a few moments.  As I focused in on the road and my surroundings, I realized that I didn’t recognize where I was.  I hadn’t seen any interstate signs, exit signs, highway signs, mileage signs, no signs… Nowhere!  The entire drive was during daylight and on a two-lane road with shopping plazas and eateries.  I know I didn’t miss any signs because there were no signs.

After I ended my call with Bud, I looked in the back seat and saw the most pacific spirit.  She never cried on this journey, she never indicated that she needed a diaper change or was hungry.  When I drove up on a McDonald’s I was tempted to stop but felt an urgency to keep going.  Just ahead, on the left, was a place that looked family oriented and that’s where we stopped for help.  Well, family oriented it was with a husband and a wife.

The husband greeted us, and the wife asked if she could get the baby something to eat.  She took the baby to the kitchen, I could still see them, and begin to mix cereal for her.  Standing there, on guard, I asked the husband, “What city am I in?”  He replied, “You’re in Miles, Florida!”  Like OMG!  Happy!  Happy!  Happy!  I screeched with happiness as I couldn’t believe I was in Florida.  There were no “Welcome to Florida – The Sunshine State” signs.  Then I paused for a moment, MILES!  I’ve never heard of a city named Miles in the State of Florida.  I explained to the husband that I was trying to get to Rockledge, which is about 45-minutes East of Orlando.

He took his shirt off, sat on the couch, and said, “You’re 500 miles past your exit.”  WHAT????  How could that be true?  There were NO SIGNS!

I fell to my knees!  That same screeching came forth with weeping in angst and frustration.  Then his motive came alive as he invited me to sit next to him, so that he could console me.  His wife was still in the kitchen, with my newfound daughter, watching him watching me with his sensual eyes.  The journey was already one that I hadn’t planned to make, but to have traveled 500 miles past my destination was overwhelming.  For real though, I didn’t have time to waste being upset and I certainly couldn’t afford to devote more time in their musty presence.  I got us up and outta there, and in a hurry!

Still upset, palpitations, brain wiggling with images and thoughts, I had to wipe those tears and wake up!  When I woke up, I Binged, Googled, and Yahooed for a city in Florida named Miles.  Low and behold there it was – Miles City, Florida – situated in the Southern part of the state on a stretch of SR29 (a two-lane road) near I-75.  To my research, it is only 237.7 miles from my destination.

All that, to say this:  don’t limit yourself to what you have planned.  BE free to adjust your goals to achieve an extraordinary objective.  There is always a greater purpose than the one you’ve designed for yourself, and there is always a greater plan for you to execute.  If you get distracted and lose you way, don’t take an answer, any answer, as the only and most accurate answer. 

BE diligent!  Wake up!  Assert your skills and abilities to RESEARCH what you’ve been told!  Had I back tracked 500 miles, I would have missed home (my destination, my goal, my objective, my purpose, my target) – AGAIN!

© 2018 Angela M. Smith

This day in the history of my life is a day of awareness, once again, that a powerful substance, being, matter, other than my five sense, are alive and well in the earth.

On the 24th of August at 2:51 p.m. I received a tornado warning notification on my phone.  The emergency sirens in the city begin to roar and we followed  the protocol to take shelter in the basement.  Twenty-four (24) minutes later, at precisely 3:15 p.m., I posted a prayer on Facebook:

Father YAH, I thank You for Your continued protection as this wind blows. Settle its breath so that it does not destroy the path we travel. 70×70 mile radius LORD, I trust Your wings of safety. We shall not fear nor BE afraid! Even so, we thank You for spreading Your shield and armor over EVERY school where our sons and daughters have taken cover. We rest in peace….ahhh yes….we rest in peace and in faith that as we BElieve and DO not doubt, all is absolutely well with us, our homes, our families. In the name of Yeshua our Savior…

At 3:20 p.m., the tornado passed through and over, touched down in, my apartment community.  All of these times are significant in their working for my good (2:51 [8], 3:15 [9], 3:20 [5]).

When all was clear, I left the building to get my son from school.  What I didn’t know was that the coach was putting kids in cars so that parents could bring them home to the city.  I kept praying and moved in peace, as my Jordan didn’t have phone service and I had no way to contact him.  Then, I kept getting a phone call from a 708 (15) area code.  Each time I tried to answer, there was no connection.  Finally, the call connected and it was my Jordan  using the phone of the family whom the coach just “put him in their car.”  When I met up with them, we met at Alto Express (my most favorite convenient store), and I gave the father a hug and I hugged the wife thanking them for taking care of my son and getting him to me.

During that moment, I had no thoughts of “where are you going to sleep tonight?”  I had no thoughts of, “I’m going home!”  There just seemed to BE no thoughts at all.  They told me that they took Jordan home and when they arrived near the property they knew right away that we were not going home that night.  After I thanked them, they told me…yes…they TOLD ME that we were going to stay with them.  These God sent strangers didn’t ask me what we were going to do, where were we going to go, did we have this, that, or the other.  They just told me we were going home with them.

So, my Jordan and I went to the complex to get some clothing items and we parked about two blocks around the corner and walked into the complex.  As I walked in, I kept saying, “MERCY LORD!”  It looked like a bombed war zone!  We kept on walking and I kept on asking the LORD for His mercy.  When we approached our unit, I could see how the path of the tornado, the winds and the waves, obeyed my prayers.  My apartment was just as I had left it that morning.  However, the front end of our building was falling down, and all o f the buildings around us were through and through destroyed.

For two days, we watched as residents were hustling, hassling, and moving haphazardly about in a panicky state.  I continued to speak words of peace to my Jordan and explained to him that we were not going to respond like what we see.  Over and over, I placed hope and peace BEfore every step we took until he understood that we were altogether well.  Walking with him through thoughts and feelings, he suddenly said,

“I need a camera!  This looks like a movie set for filming.”  He BEgin to draw on the scenery through his creative vision.  A vision that made something void (disastrous) resourceful.  SELAH!

As I went about the progression of receiving help, I went to a resource and the caseworker said, “How are you so calm during such a disaster? You’re so peaceful!”

I quietly replied, “I AM calm BEcause peace is resting, ruling, and abiding.  I have no reason to disturb it.  And, good can always prevail in a disastrous situation.”

This thought took me back to the hour and minute that I prayed, 3:15 p.m.   That number equals 9.  There are nine fruit of the Spirit.  Peace is the 3rd active fruit of the Spirit, and faith is the 7th one.  These two elements are in full effect in my life; thus the absence of doubt and distress.

So then, even though everyone had to evacuate the premises, BEcause the foundation was not stable, one of the many blessings on this day is that no souls were lost.  All things materialistic are replaceable, and all this memorable are hidden in our heart.  While I’m waiting to retrieve what’s left of my material possessions, I am cognizant of an immediate inhaling receipt of something much more valuable and that is another measure of peace and faith.

I AM Grateful!

This morning, I rise to the sound of, ‘Good morning Mom.  Is everything alright?  I see you’re clinching your fist.’  I didn’t realize I was doing that, and as I immediately took to relaxation I replied, ‘Good morning son.  Yeah, I am alright.’

Every morning, it is a priority to commune with the LORD my Pastor, my Shepherd. SELAH!  My home is very quiet in the mornings, except for the moving about with breakfast, getting dressed, quietly going over the agenda of the day so that everyone BE agreed.  It is this way to keep at bay distractions that will hinder me from intently hearing what the Holy Spirit is divinely saying to me for me, my household, and His Chosen people who hath an ear to hear.

During my meditation, a few subjects rang true as I (i.e., my low nature self, my flesh, my thoughts, my emotions, my focus on the natural and basic things of this life in this  world), willingly surrendered and submitted to myself (i.e., my true self, my spirit self that abide in the Vine).

One of those subjects that rose up to awareness was, ‘Why do I, personally, fast?’  Am I doing this BEcause I want the LORD my Father to gift me something, to answer my prayers of need and desire, to show me His miraculous wonders, to ‘move’ on my BEhalf of need and desire, etc.?  Absolutely not.  This is not why I personally fast. Yet, this is why many people fast…for them.  They fast with focus on them, for them, to BE heard, instead of fasting for what the LORD has chosen them to fast for.

I’ve personally decided to fast a ‘CHOSEN’ fast, by the LORD.  A fast that is designed for specific outcomes that are applicable to a plethora of life matters.  Isaiah 58:6-7 (KJV) is a most excellent explanation.  And, when we fast a ‘CHOSEN’ fast, by the LORD, Isaiah 58:8-14 is immutable in our lives.  When we fast for what YAH has ‘CHOSEN’ for us, THEN our light break forth, and our health spring forth SPEEDILY, and the glory of the LORD SHALL BE our reward.

The LORD shall answer, and shall guide, and satisfy our soul.  We shall BE like a watered garden.

Have you ever considered the beauty and richness of life a watered garden is?  It is constantly blossoming and filling the atmosphere with a pleasant fragrance.  Or, have you ever considered a SPRING of water that ALWAYS have water?  ALWAYS?  SELAH!  The LORD’s word, His language, His speech, His proclamations, His declarations, His ‘shall’ will not return unto Him void.  As it is clearly guaranteed that His Word goes where He tells it to go, and DOES what He has sent it to DO – accomplish and prosper (Isaiah 55:11, KJV).

The mouth of the LORD hath spoken it, so it is! SELAH!

Another subject that rose with me this morning, and is proven to BE (live and exist as) an absolute truth is that evil communications corrupt good manners.  Ephesians 4:29-32, KJV, emphatically enounces ‘LET no corrupt communication proceed…’  The word LET is indicative to the fact that we are in control of and have the power to do these things or not:  allow, permit, release, withhold, refrain from, etc.  The word corrupt, as identified in this scripture, means perverse, distorted, worthless, worldly, etc.  To the church of Ephesus, Apostle Paul commanded this, LET no.  SELAH!

PUT OFF, again this is something we are in control of, we have the power to do: PUT OFF concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lust; AND BE (live and exist) renewed in the spirit of your mind (vs.24).  The spirit of your mind is the true you, the real you, your spirit self, which does not live in this low nature of flesh (thoughts, emotions, focuses on the natural and basic things of this life in this world).

My sons are daily enlightening me on the language of their peers, and while they are explaining I’m constantly asking questions for clarity.  I’ve had to redirect them on scores of occasions BEcause they were getting too comfortable with phrases, idioms, jargon, acronyms, words that are not the language of YAH; talk that does not BEcometh worthy, holy, or reverent.  As mother, nurturer, and teacher, the onus is mine to train them up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6, KJV).

Ephesians 5 encompasses a host of good guidance for the BElievers and followers of Yeshua the Christ; for those who are new creatures and old things are truly passed away; for those of us who understand that the hour cometh, and now IS, when the True Worshippers shall worship the Father in Spirit and in Truth (John 4:23, KJV).  This compelling demand will save our soul, “BE not ye partakers with them (vs.7); and have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them (vs. 11).” SELAH!

I hopeth and I BElieveth that the fruit of my womb is binding this truth around their neck.

And, yet another subject that came to my attention was subliminal communication.  This kind of communication is piercingly audible to the unconscious mind or deeper mind.  And for those of us who are attuned to our unconsciousness, it doesn’t take long for us to ‘quickly and suddenly’ BEcome aware of what is BEing articulated.  We don’t have to ponder if this is ‘The Language of YAH’ or not.

WHY?

BEcause these messages are detected by the abiding Vine, by the Holy Spirit of the LORD, Who alerts us to do what Apostle John commanded the BEloved (those who were of honorable reputation) to do, “try the spirits whether they are of YAH” (1 John 4, KJV). SELAH!  These messages are often than not, subtil (in a bad sense, crafty, cunning, devious) and have been in the atmosphere since the days of Adam and Eve.

They are not only used by the world, the world’s system, the world’s way; they are chiefly used behind what is called the sacred place in the sanctuary, in the private chambers of spouse’s bedrooms and dwelling places, in public settings by those who are members of the body of Yeshua, in the schools we send our sons and daughters to for 8-12 hours a day, and in our places of employment.

So many of us hinge on these words and messages without ever studying to shew ourselves approved unto YAH. SELAH!  We BEcome the device that swings, turns, and pivot with every sound of these kinds of messages…on this kind of communication.

When we do this hinging, we limit our ability to experience the sum-total benefits of the strait gate and narrow way, which leadeth to LIFE and that more abundantly.  Yet, the same many that are hinged are the ones crying out to YAH, not to BE unhinged, but rather, “Why have You forsaken me? O woe is me!”  Has the LORD YAH that you BElieve in truly done that?  Forsaken you? Or, have you forsaken Him, His Way, His Truth, His Life?  I say to you, repent!  For many will seek to enter in at the strait gate and will not BE able to (Luke 13:24, KJV). The moment of reckoning will BE too late BEcause they are hinged to au fait unrighteousness.  SELAH!

As for me and my journey to BEcome who I was created to BE, for the LORD’s raising me up this morning, whole and stedfast and in my right mind, for His Angels ministering to me, I Am thankful. I Am thankful to BE fully aware that my fasting and praying is not solely about me nor is it only for me.  Instead, it is with respect to and is related to the will and commandment of the LORD my YAH.  I Am thankful to BE aware that it is good for me to actually BEcome the language of YAH, to learn His Word, to talk like Him, and to BE His Word that does not return to Him empty. SELAH.

BLESSED are You LORD!
(C) 2016 Angela M. Smith